July 29, 2016

Salam Alaikum

Alhamdulillah, at 6.07 pm on Friday, July 29 I was married to a man I've met for about 4 years ago. Thank you so much husband for this long waiting until it comes true. You did fulfill your promises and show that all these are true. InshaAllah.

No one knows except Allah how I feel from the moment this nikah became valid. Maha suci Allah yang menjadikan pernikahan itu sesuatu yang menakjubkan bila sesuatu yang haram menjadi halal.
Menyatukan dua insan dalam ikatan murni bersaksikan nikmat Islam.

At that moment, I was crying... there is a lot of undescribed feelings I kept deep down in my heart.
I know, marriage comes in package, happiness, blessed and responsibility. I have a lot of things to share here, yet, I decided to keep it safe in my soul until I am no longer able to restore my memory.
However, I would like to share certain things that seem interesting to share with you guys.

To recall a bit, I've met my husband almost 4 years ago, (8 Zulhijah 1433H) on October 13, 2012. He came to my house a day before Eid Adha. Before I met him face to face at my home in front of the living room, my mom showed me his picture,

 First picture of him with my cousin when he met my aunt's family at Johor.

Having some BBQ night during Eid Adha. 

Eid Adha at my uncle's

Bermulalah perkenalan kami yang panjang dan penuh dengan keterbatasan dalam menjaga diri dan hubungan. InsyaAllah. Kami bukanlah so called 'Islamic' sangat sampai tak berhubung tapi kami cuba untuk jaga hubungan agar kebaikan terus mengalir di antara keluarga. 

At first, I was reluctant to know this man. This is because I've met someone else before he came into my life. First time in my life, I asked my parent permission to allow me to know this guy seriously. Then, my parents said I can be friends with him but I must take care of myself. Jangan lebih-lebih. At that time, I didn't know that my mom had someone to introduce until the day they picked me up during the 5th-semester break. They told me in serious conversation but then I feel like I wasn't ready to know until I said to myself, ' Ya Allah, if I can get better from this matter, I am okay to know him, in fact, why not? it's just got to know, bukannya apa-apa pun.' then I said, ' insyaAllah, okay, boleh untuk kenal-kenal.

1st picture my aunt showed to him. I looked cute. lol

We agreed to contact only via E-mail without SMS, call or even Fb. It was hard sometimes because I often replied to the e-mail after a few days he sent me. I'm sorry. Perhaps, my heart denies replying to your e-mail until my mom and aunt asked me to reply. I could say, the content was really formal e-mail. I replied without any emotions or even humor until the day I received a text from an unknown number asking whether is it okay to keep in touch through SMS? because it was much convenient than a typical e-mail. I was surprised how he got my number, it was actually from the list names when I attended a seminar held by his university.

Although we contacted through SMS, it was not often. Sometimes, twice a week or random. Only talk about academics, activity at the campus and not much. Still in serious mode. I keep myself busy for other things. I am sorry because honestly, at first, I had no motivation to contact him until I've decided to stop contacting him. I did Istikharah, consultation with my family and friends and I just can't bear sometimes my mom trying to convince me to get to know him better. But having faith that Allah has a better plan for me, I still contact him. 

Then, there goes our 'taaruf'. Most of his life updates were from my mom and aunt. For 18 meetings along 4 years, no dating yet, most of the time, we only met at home with my family. I always gave an excuse to my mom that I don't know him, please don't command me to know him. The way I know him is different from others. I used to know a person I met at the campus or any place face to face several times. 

There are lots of doubts at that time. It's hard for me to trust people although I know some people give an effort to know each other. But Allah knows more than me and you. 

Bowling during Eid Adha break

Karaoke with the whole family

At first, I felt uncomfortable and shy because I need to meet him when the whole family around. But well, this is Nisa, being herself and cool. 

Meet again at PWTC to celebrate my aunt's convocation. Still, don't wanna talk to him. hehe.

Going back to our campus the next day.

This time I remembered... when I brought my things and books, my parents sent me first at the bus stop, he insisted to help me brought some of my things but I refused until my mom said,  " biarlah Fatah nak tolong bawakan". Then, I just let him be. Dalam hati, ' eh dia ni, sibuk je nak tolong angkat barang orang.' Haha. 

It was hard for me to accept these things in the first place but one thing that held me as I'm hoping for my parent's and families' blessing. I believe, love will come when you put a priority on Him first. Because He is the one who owns The Love. Love can grow when we rely on Allah, the one who holds our heart. I can be so much mixed feelings, I cried a lot. All the tears were so painful I wished I could end this soon. But Allah helps me to keep believing along with support from others. I've seen people around me being in sorrow when it comes to relationships. 

In my prayer, if this man is meant for me, make us closer under the blessing of our family. Make me love him in the best way I could. I am so guarded. There are so many things come into my mind. 

The day we engaged. March 15, 2015

Only among our family, close friends and some people knew about this simple engagement.

Ada satu ketika masa awal perkenalan, dalam perjalanan masa hantar Fatah ke kampus dia, mama dengan baba kata, mereka restu perhubungan kami. Saya tersenyum dan merasa tenang serta berharap semoga ini adalah titik permulaan yang baik sampai ke akhir hayat. Walaupun sebenarnya, ada sahaja dugaan sepanjang usia perkenalan kami. Hampir sahaja berhenti di tengah jalan. But I've seen his effort to prove the intention is true. with tears and hope.

Semoga ini menjadi sesuatu permulaan fasa kehidupan yang baru dengan redha Allah.

Menghadapi mehnah alam rumah tangga, menghidupkan suasana keluarga yang saling mencintai, membangun dan happy go lucky. 

Semoga bertemu lagi di Syurga.

 Leftenan Wan Abdul Fatah bin Wan Omar, July 30, 2016

 p/s : semoga dalam kisah kami ini, ada kebaikan-kebaikan yang dapat diambil walaupun sedikit.